” A man has the power to love a woman in a way that she has never been loved, and yet hurt her with the same intensity.”

by OctoberTheThirtyFourth

Heartbreak eats out your heart very slowly, it parches your throat, send bolts from the pit of your stomach to the matrix of your brain. Sometimes you want to cry, but crying isn’t enough, you feel like it won’t remove the weight of your dead heavy heart.

I wanted to scream my lungs out, I had passed rage’s mark off point, I was within something else, between rage and insanity, I could feel the blood vessels at the back of my head, palpitating. What had he done to me? What had I done to myself? How could I have been so stupid. The signs were there, my conscience had warned me on countless encounters. This boy is not for you. He is NOT the guy you have been telling your father about. What are you doing with him?

He truly wasn’t the guy I had told God about, not even like him in the slightest of ways. But he called me beautiful, he kissed my forehead and looked into my eyes, he made me laugh and made me miss him when he wasn’t around. He took me back to my carefree years, watching cartoons all day, eating ice cream straight out of the tub, making funny faces at each other, we did the most gayest and childish of things together. He painted life in colours I never knew existed, he made life worthwhile, my very own dosage of ecstasy. I had honestly never been so happy in such a short space of time. Love was an understatement, I had found my other half.

The very same person that looked into my eyes one morning, ripped out my heart without any remorse turned around and walked away without saying a single word, I stood there gobsmacked. There was no way he could do that to me. Had the past few months been an illusion? Could I have dreamt this all. I looked at where my heart had been, it ached, it burned, I had never been through such, I didn’t know what to do… I dropped on my knees and I cried, I cried like a mother burying her dead infant, like a little girl burying her parents..I lost all awareness of my surroundings, I couldn’t do anything else, I had to cry.