octoberthethirtyfourth

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“WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME SOMEONE RAN THEIR FINGERS THROUGH THE KNOTS OF YOUR SOUL?”

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“I PITY THE WOMAN WHO WILL LOVE YOU
WHEN I AM DONE. SHE WILL SHOW UP
TO YOUR FIRST DATE WITH A DUSTPAN
AND BROOM, READY TO PICK UP ALL THE PIECES
I LEFT YOU IN. SHE WILL HEAR MY NAME SO OFTEN
IT WILL BEGIN TO DIG HOLES IN HER.

THAT IS WHERE DOUBT WILL GROW. SHE WILL LOOK
AT YOUR NECK, YOUR THIN HIPS, YOUR MOUTH,
WONDERING AT THE WAY I TOUCHED YOU.
SHE WILL MAKE YOU ALL THE PROMISES I DID
AND SOME I NEVER COULD. SHE WILL HEAR ONLY
THE TERRIBLE STORIES. HOW I DRANK. HOW I LIED.

SHE WILL WONDER (AS I HAVE) HOW SOMEONE
AS WONDERFUL AS YOU COULD LOVE A MONSTER
LIKE THE WOMAN WHO CAME BEFORE HER. STILL,
SHE WILL COMPETE WITH MY GHOST.
SHE WILL UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DO NOT LOOK
IN THE BACK OF CLOSETS. WHY YOU ARE AFRAID
OF WHAT’S UNDER THE BED. SHE WILL KNOW
EVERY CORNER OF YOU IS HAUNTED
BY ME.”

~ -CLEMENTINE VON RADICS

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“EXPERIENCE IS A BRUTAL TEACHER, BUT YOU LEARN. MY GOD, DO YOU LEARN.”
~   C. S. Lewis

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Bey.Jay

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42adade196872fbf547230d782bd6e49cute. cute

 

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‘Everyone else isn’t you. It turns out that is a huge problem for me.’

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‘you are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highway
to a burning house
says you are blinding him
that he could never leave you
forget you
want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearable
every woman before or after you
is doused in your name
you fill his mouth
his teeth ache with memory of taste
his body just a long shadow seeking yours
but you are always too intense
frightening in the way you want him
unashamed and sacrificial
he tells you that no man can live up to the one who
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake’

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